7 Days & COUNTING!!!! HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually don't know how I have the energy to write this...but in a moment of delirium I'm thumping the keyboard!

 

So everything changed at the two week countdown. We started cycling carb meals so that some days I had 3 carb attachments, next day 2, next day 0. Each attachment consisted of either 50g of oats, or 50g of sweet potato. Other than that it was veges and salad only. I thought this was hard. No one prepared me for the next assault to my body. That would be the 10 day countdown. Here's my menu;

 

Meal 1: Lettuce & 150g Chicken

Meal 2: Lettuce & 150g Chicken

Meal 3: Lettuce & 150g Chicken

Meal 4: Lettuce & 150g Chicken

Meal 5: Lettuce & 150g Chicken

 



Here's 5 days worth of chicken!!

 

Exercise: 2 x 1hr cardio sessions daily (moderate), 1 x upper body weights session daily, posing daily

 

Good News: no more leg workouts, unlimited lettuce

 

On The Horizon: no more workouts from Wednesday, only light cardio and posing

 

How I Feel: blur, blah, dozy, crazy, in-a-bubble, hungry, weak, tired, nervous, AND GETTING SUPER EXCITED ABOUT NOW!!! I'm also a little proud that I'm still doing it all. Haven't missed a day of training and have had a few pre 5am starts to fit it all in. I just can't let it beat me!

 

 

Another 37 degree day, 9.5km on a diet of lettuce & chicken. Don't ever tell me "It can't be done!!" It can always be done. Just got to have a strong mind and the body will do as it's told.

 

I can't honestly believe that there is now only 7 days left until the first competition day! I am feeling the first twinklings of extreme nervousness but also a real excitement building. I haven't felt it before now because the exercise and food has been all-consuming and it's best not to look too far ahead in case it overwhelms me. But now I can afford to feel a little excited and pumped about it all.

 

I'm studying up on all the things that happen on comp day and there appears to be quite a list! The first order of the day will be a specially constructed breakfast, no water, make up, hair, tanning, resting with feet literally up on the wall, arriving at the venue, fixing up all hair, make up and tan yet again, pumping up a little with the help of some light resistance, and then preparing to get out there and finally show it all off.

 

It's been a long road and, at times, fairly gruelling. I haven't had an alcoholic drink since July 23, my last 'real' meal of bread was Australia Day (Jan 26), nothing 'fast food' has entered my mouth since 2010 and ..... every bastard in town has organised a function for me to attend alcohol and food free HAHA!!! I can't believe how many events I've been to stone cold sober and hungry!! With a woollies bag full of chicken and veges as my accessory! Who cares?! It'll all taste the same in late 2011 as it did in late 2010 and what have I seriously lost? NOTHING!!! oh...actually....about 6.9kgs so far from my first weigh-in weight. But in all reality - some deprivation in this ever-instant world is extremely good for the soul. Why do you think detox diets are so popular? Because people recognise that they eat and drink shit too much and realise that they sometimes need to have a break.

 

And I have to say, that for eating 'clean' for the last 9 months, I've had no skin issues, no lowered immunity and nothing else that I may have expected. Not sure why I'm even questioning that outcome when all I'm omitting is the shit. On that, isn't it interesting when someone is losing weight and eating less, eventually the comments will come - "time to get a good feed into you!" And that feed normally consists of bread, cheap shit meat and chips! Why wouldn't they suggest some chicken fillets and veges?

 

Righto - rant over. I'm starting to get a little bit passionate about health these days because I realise just how precious it is. But I also acknowledge 2 things - that everyone is different, and that moderation is one of the keys to a happy AND healthy life.

 

Signing off for now. Will be back in a couple of days to rave about my raffle sponsors.

Spotting, Snotting & Squatting

I said in my last post that it was the hardest two weeks of all. I lied. Actually, I didn't lie because at that time they were the hardest. The preceding two weeks have now trumped those other two weeks to become The Hardest Weeks Of All. I want to start at the beginning but there really is no beginning, or middle, or end. It's all just one big blur. A combination of very little food, huge amounts of cardio, heavy horrible weights and the continuation of 'real life' around it all.

At times, during my running, I imagine a fork in the road.

Left Fork = "it's almost done, you're almost there, no injuries, no huge hiccups, the end is in sight!!! You go girl".

Right Fork = "this is all too fecking HARD!!!!! Just be like Forrest Gump and decide to stop. Give up. You're too hungry. Stop now. Cut your losses and quit. No one will care!!!!"

I would love to take the high ground and say that I veer to the left each time however the right hand fork is the one I've listened to most of my life. Which is why I have previously missed the finish line. Which is why I decided to do this bloody competition in the first place!!! So the Right Fork isn't a valid option but it is the one I listen to a little more than I should.

And I want to make one thing crystal clear. I wrote this blog as a way of portraying my honest and genuine journey throughout this year toward the competition. I'm not going to 'positive it all up' so that I don't sound like a sad sack. I can't - it wouldn't be honest. I also do not require any pep-talks or compliments, unless you want to give them (all support is always gratefully received) but I certainly don't want anyone to think that I'm fishing for them. I'm not. I'm just being honest. Something I've always appreciated from others when going through tough times. So I'm here, I'm telling you the black and white and grey of it all as I see it.

The Support

But to start things off.. I have to say that I have not valued, leaned on and loved my friends more than I have this past few months. In my hungry and emotional state, I am moved by the support I've had/have this year. I feel incredibly undeserving because I realise that this is a very self-absorbed mission I'm embarking on. I feel like I've dragged people into my dream and, rather than telling me to rack off, they are all sharing it with me. I couldn't be luckier and I couldn't be happier in this respect. I feel hugely privileged and very much like I want to give back to them. I'll keep looking for ways to do that.

Other areas of support have been the lovely article in the Katherine Times - thanks Annie! The Ultimate Gym & Fitness in Darwin offering me sponsorship in the form of some goodies, the Katherine YMCA offering me some financial support to help with comp expenses and a few other places that I will mention next time, along with some exciting news that I'll keep under my hat for now.

Spotting & Snotting

These go together this time because I have had a few tear spill-overs lately! And my darling husband has been there to look after the spotting and snotting. Again I put this down to the lack of substantial food. I have been living on a menu of tuna, salad, fish, green veges & protein shakes. Still completing 2 x 1hr cardio sessions daily and then aiming to continue hard and heavy weights sessions.

The first 3-4 days of this 'diet' is manageable, however, after 2 weeks it becomes seriously apparant that the body is lacking in the fundamental energy needed just to cope with situations. I became seriously uptight, very very emotional, and lacking any sort of the whizz-bang energy that makes life fun. I'm decently good at hiding it all and consider myself to be a very robust sort of person. I can run on empty quite well and pride myself that I did not miss a cardio or weight session while feeling like this. But do I recommend it? Hell no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lucky it is only for a period of time. It was four weeks on that regime and changes have happened this week - hence the energy and clarity to write this.

On top of the above snot session, I ran to the weigh bridge the other day and when I got there, a road train went past and gave me a big toot. I immediately burst into tears and snotted my way back while thinking that even the stupidest bit of support by an unknown truck driver was enough to make me feel so emotional and grateful. I'm sure he felt insanely sorry for me as it was about 36 degrees and I look fairly emaciated at the moment!! To add to this feeling, Rob drove past twice with the kids hanging out of the window yelling out, "Hi Mummy! I love you Mummy!!" How can you not keep running and crying at that.

Squatting (in case you wondered - I post back pics because I'm not ready to turn around yet and face the world in a bikini!! Yikes!!)

 

As mentioned, I'm still lifting hard and heavy and very regularly. My routine has just changed yet again and I now have to complete 2 x legs plyo sessions & 1 x legs weights session per week, along with the usual upper body sessions and 2 x 1hr cardios per day - with 2 of those extended to 1.5hrs. How do I fit this all in? A question I ask myself each and every day. In fact, I no longer think about tomorrow. I just put one foot in front of the other and complete the day's tasks before I even contemplate the next move.

I only have 2 more weeks to pull these wretched legs into line and then it's time to lay off them and let them recover pre-comp. Then another 10 days after that before the cardio also becomes a blissful past memory. Can't wait!!!

 

For now though, legs are heavy heavy heavy! And lots of plyo - jumping, leaping, skipping. Yesterday Tammy and I completed a gruelling session involving 15 x heavy weighted exercises immediately followed by a 20 x plyo reps. Then 1.5mins between sets, 4 sets. Four Exercises in total and it was a solid one hour, sweat filled session that has left me today with bum cheeks that feel like hot irons have pierced them! Oh yeah - we preceded the session with 80 lunges on each leg...just for fun!

Food

Change has occurred and I'm now cycling carbs and going cleaner than ever. Some days I have 3 x carb meals - well...meals is maybe too strong a word. I'm allowed to add 40g of oats or 150g of sweet potato to my plate on some meals. Other days I revert back to no carbs. It's time to fill out a little before dropping back to the world of lean in the few days pre-comp. I've now dropped protein shakes and most of my supplements to 'clean things up' and they'll stay away from here on in I believe.

The Rest

I'm now starting to concentrate on all of the finer details that need to be address; Hair - my beautiful friend, Julie C (can't spell her name!!), is looking after me and we had a trial run at her new little salon at Tindal. And yes - she does take all women and children out there, not just RAAF men! I'm stoked with the look she came up with and think it will look great with my outfit. Nails - have booked into a salon on the Friday. Can't do fake nails because I hate the damage they do when I get rid of them so will concentrate on growing them in the meantime. Tan - well...you'll just have to wait and see with this one! Jewellery - nice and loud, sparkly and bright, and cheap!!

So that's all for now. It's all getting exciting now but there is still a job to be done and it needs to be completed whether that be midday or midnight! I'm no longer a quitter. I'll finish this race and I'll look back and remember that I didn't do it on my own this time. I had a fair few shoulders to lean on...and that made it all the more possible.

Thank you. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

This Has To Be The Hardest 2 Weeks Of All!

Numbers to start with;

41 - days until the competition.

105 - approximate kilometres I have run/walked/dragged my sorry butt in the past 7 days.

9 - average kilometres I jog in each 1 hour session.

7 - average kilometres walked in my empty-tummy-morning hill walk.

13 - number of stiff-uppercuts I've had to give myself in order to get the cardio sessions completed.

42 - number of meals I've eaten in 7 days. It's all veges and fish but at least it's frequent!

120-150 - grams of the above-mentioned fish at each serving. Not nearly enough!!

42 - litres of water consumed. That's 6 litres per day. I've decided that I detest cold water and prefer tap temperature. It's funny how strong your opinions become when you are subjected to it too often.

3 - feet is the furtherest I can be away from the little ladies room due to the 6 litres of water!

As usual, you'll get honesty from me. This last two weeks has made every week before it pale into insignificance in the "hard" scale. It's been absolutely and utterly gruelling. Life has been one big bubble of eating, running, eating, walking, training, eating, sleeping and working. The intensity has been overwhelming at times. It has tested my ability to run work, family and training life and, at times, I have failed to make it all work.

I find that, as it becomes more intense, I become more controlled in my approach. I seem to lose all of the 'grey' and get a little black and white about things. Example: If my trainer says, "heavy weights with 12-15 reps, 4-5 sets", I will always choose 15 reps and 5 sets. I can't seem to let myself relax into anything. Just yesterday I completed a fairly (very!!) heavy hamstring workout as follows;

- stiff leg deadlifts - 75kg

- bulgarian split squats - 2 x 15kg d/b's

- hamstring curls - 25kg

all 12-15 reps, 5 x sets

Then I had a thought - why don't I finish off with 100 swissball roll-ins? Yeah! So I got my big red ball and started with great guns. At 25 reps I wished I could stop and my hamstrings were screaming in agony. Did I stop? Not a chance!! I popped out reps until the magic 100 was done. It was quite possibly a silly thing to do as I can hardly feel the backs of my legs today. But I had made the silly call and couldn't back down.

So while I'm a big advocate for reaching goals, there definitely has to be a time where common sense prevails and you give yourself a break. I just have to learn myself where that threshold lies. Or risk being put in my place by a smart trainer.

On that, the lovely Sammy called me this morning to see how I was going. As far as I was concerned, I had ticked all of the boxes. 2hrs of cardio per day - tick. 1hr of heavy weights per day - tick. 6L of water - tick. Posing practise - half a tick. Food on track - 3/4 of a tick - just a little bit of a fruit bust here and there. So I thought it was all good. I didn't mention to her that my temper fuse is shorter than it's been in years...and that I dreaded the thought of fish at just about every meal..and that I was feeling increasingly sorry for myself with regard to a lack of anything yummy or alcoholic...because I didn't count that as important. It was only important that I had completed my tasks.

At the end of the conversation Sammy said, "tonight I want you to eat carbs. Yep. Eat carbs. I can clearly hear it in your voice. You sound like a weary bear..all dopey". And as she said it, I could feel that I was bumbling in my thoughts and really struggling to have any zappiness - you know what I mean? Very heavy like I couldn't get a clear thought pattern going and I was choosing the long way around most things without realising it. I got off the phone really quick because I could feel some little tears stinging the corners of my eyes..and, of course, bodybuilders can't cry!! hehe. I processed that information and realised she was exactly right, as per usual, and decided I would follow her advice.

The only thing I modified was that she told me to have a carb dinner. I decided a lunch would be a better meal to eat on as it would give me the afternoon to 'recover' and I wouldn't go to bed on a full tummy and then think about it all night. So I had a royal feast for lunch!! I won't go into too much detail but I'll tell you it involved cheese (ohmygoditwasgood!!!), peanut butter, and chocolate. Not too much, but more than enough to make me feel full, spoiled and very happy!

Following my feast I jumped on that dreaded treadmill and completed 9kms followed by a heavy chest workout and, of course, my early morning walk already under my belt. I'm back on track now. The muscles have been fed a treat today and it's back into the regime as of now. I have another week on this dreaded deplete plan and then it's a see-saw game up until comp date. Now is when we start tricking things up with salt and water and it's very interesting to see how the body reacts to different manipulations.

So that's me for the week. I completely understand it now when told how hard it is to train for these competitions and I can't wait to be able to say I got through it all and came out the other side. The drive to succeed by achieving my goal is worth the pain..and my goal is just to participate. At this stage, I really have no more desire than that. But I want to do it with some style and that's why I'm giving it all I have.

Weigh Day is Wednesday

Never did I think I'd be back to fretting about the damn scales! And here I am, a bundle of jangling nerve wires, wondering, hoping, praying even, that those bloody scales will go down....and more than just a bit!!!

Explanation. This week I've gone full force into a cutting cycle. That is, high cardio, low food and medium weights in order to gently extract the rather small layer of fat covering the muscles. The trainer I saw last week estimated my body fat to be around 3% at the moment so it's a bit of a science to get it moving while trying to leave all muscle intact. Sounds pretty low but I can tell you it has decided to have a party and meet up at my legs...how predictable.

So here's what happened. I dutifully started the two one-hour cardio sessions per day last Sunday but hadn't collected my two week menu plan. For three days I continued on my merry little way scoffing lentils, chicken, rice and veges to my hearts content! Even slipping in a few more spoonfuls because I cockily thought I deserved them due to the gruelling cardio regime. I heard my darling husband say something like, "Are you sure you should be 'upping' the carbs? I thought the cardio was to lower your weight". I recall replying something like, "Don't be ridiculous!! You can't do 2hrs of cardio a day on an empty stomach!! Of course I need more carbs".

WRONG!! Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!!! So I found out!!

Happily I trotted on in my own little world...until Wednesday morning, when I received my two-week food instruction manual. And discovered, to my detriment, that I was supposed to have lowered my carbs...not bloody increased them!!!! Are you serious?????? "Oh well", I stupidly thought yet again, "It can't have hurt much! I'm running two hundred miles a day". WRONG AGAIN!!!! Come Friday-weigh-day, I had dropped a measly 100grams!! ONE HUNDRED BLOODY GRAMS!!!!!! 

I honestly can't repeat my thought pattern as I stood on those @@###$ scales!!! I had prepared for that moment with the full and eager anticipation of a great result reflecting the 75km worth of running and walking I'd already achieved, along with a decently clean diet. I was suitably un-attired (TMI I know, but these things are important on weigh day!!), had finished early morning ablutions in order to decrease fluid weight, and I was initially smiling! Oh how my world changed in those few seconds!! You wanna talk food moods???? Oh crickey dicks!!! I was as sour as a mouldy old lemon with a face like a puckered cat's bum!! Pissed off can't even come close to how I felt at that precise moment and the grey cloud seemed to descend on my head and hover there for the rest of the day. Hopefully no one noticed but I'm not too sure!

On reflection, I can see my error very clearly and it was all about the food - as it seems to be when it comes to weight loss. This bodybuilding thing can sometimes defy common sense and I should have realised the curve ball would be coming sooner or later. It's here in the form of a diet completely devoid of any complex carbs, with 2hrs of cardio and 1hr of weights almost every day of the week for 2 weeks. I have now moved the official weigh-day to Wednesday and I'm completely shitting myself to be honest. I don't know how this carb-starved brain will cope with another bad result yet I can't feel the weight dropping off like I thought I would.

I'll give you a new daily scenario including the food simply because many people have been asking about it;

* 6am-7am - moderate incline walk on completely empty tummy - light sweat only

* breakfast shake

* midmorning tuna & salad

* weights session - moderate weight as no energy for much more

* lunch chicken & veg

* midafternoon raw veg & water protein shake

* early evening - 1hr jog with inclines thrown in as needed

* dinner fish & veg

* supper shake & peanut paste

It's very do-able but takes a little grit to get through the last hour of cardio. Thanks to a fabulous friend, I have a beautiful treadmill plonked in front of the tv so I can get these sessions out of the way while watching the stupid-box. The Olympics have been an added bonus!

Other than this, I've been struggling to fit in any posing or stretching and know I'll have to get them under control when I can. I had another posing session with Hector and we covered all of the poses in more detail. I'm happy with where I am for now but know I have a whole lot of improvements up my sleeve.

Bikini update. It's being made and I hope it'll be as lovely as I imagine. I won't spoil the surprise with colour or style just yet.

Another blurb about the scales. In my late teens and early twenties, I have to confess that I was completely and utterly screwed up when it came to body image. I fluctuated horribly with my weight and would grasp hold of anything with the words "diet" or "weight" attached to them. Every Monday felt like the start of a new week where I would try something zany and crazy in order to lose that weight. I did the whole grapefruit diet, the cabbage diet, the carrot diet - and more scary than all - I decided to do the whole "won't eat a thing" diet, which almost did my head in completely. I was down in the mid 40kg weight range at one stage and managed to balloon to the 90's. It was a horrible, terrible phase of my life and, if you are on the diet yo-yo, please get some help to get off it! It's not the weight that kills your life, it's the emotions that go with it - the shame, the guilt and the feeling of being so low all of the time. No one deserves to feel like that day in and out.

So I have to say that it took me 15 years of having a stable weight and attitude to food and diet before I attempted to do anything that would make me stray from my good patterns in the way that this bodybuilding has. I would never have attempted this sort of thing any earlier as I'm sure I would have become mentally caught up in the whole self-image, weight gaining/loss games that I happily left behind all of those years ago.

Rightio. Enough blabbing by me. Oh yes, because I'm really honest.....I have to say that the omission of lentils in my diet has done wonders for.....can't say it! Use your imagination.

Time For A Little Motivational Speech...Ahem

Have you ever tried anything Extreme? Let me clarify Extreme. I mean anything that has pushed you into what you would call extreme circumstances in order to achieve whatever it is? Something that has demanded a sacrifice in order to complete?

I think many would say they haven't. Why? What's holding you back? Fear? Lethargy? Lack of drive? Lack of confidence in yourself to achieve? A fear of coming 2nd...or maybe not even finishing at all? Well you're certainly not alone.

You see, if I had one dollar for every time, over the past 8 months, someone has said to me, "ooo - I could never do what you're doing..", I would visit Lorna Jane a whole lot more. I believe the more accurate response should be, "ooo - I choose not to do what you're doing" because it is..a choice. My body is just the same as most of yours. I have two arms, two legs etc etc, and they may have been tuned a little differently but they pretty much work in the same manner.

But here's where we may differ a little. You might say, "I can't!!" Where I will say, "I can!! And I will! And if I don't get it the first time, I'll try again a second and a third until I nail it! And, if I have to, I'll get help from wherever I can - google, youtube, friends, magazines - wherever - but I will do it!!" So maybe our headspace differs, but our body is essentially the same. It'll do as it's told.

Another thing I find strange is the attitude of feeling hard done by when missing out on something. Especially when it comes to food. I have had many responses to my nutrition with comments such as, "I just couldn't do without my ice cream after dinner", or, "I don't believe in missing out. I couldn't cope without my Sunday roast". You know I'm pretty honest so here's my response; I understand that ice-cream is good. Very good. But it was around when I was born, and it'll be around when I'm done, and it'll taste the same for the entire time and I won't miss out on a thing in the long term. I can't comprehend the taste of fat and sugar being something that holds me back from a goal. Same thing for the Sunday roast - it'll be there forever and it'll always taste sort of similar to what it did the first time around. It isn't worth fighting for.

Because in my honest opinion, people work better, play better and live better, when they have a goal. And a physical goal is a great way to get on top of your health & fitness. I mean a goal that will take some working towards like maybe a 5km fun run, or being able to jog the loop non-stop, or maybe even entering your first bodybuilding competition!!

But to achieve a goal, there must be sacrifice. No two ways about it. It'll take up time, it might cost a little money for some kit, it may mean saving money on shit food and re-spending it on fresh stuff, and it may mean facing something you don't particularly like sometimes - like some speed work on the oval, or hitting the gym for the 5th time in a week to conquer those triceps. Whatever it is, it'll hurt some days and feel great others. Some days you'll want to pack it all in and you'll wake up with the excuses rolling off your tongue non-stop - that's normal. What makes it a sacrifice is whether you give in to the very-believable excuses, or turn them off, fill your head with the positive stuff and get out and do it. Sometimes I need some of those corny gym motivation slogans to keep me going, or maybe I work better on those days that I think about compeititors and what they are doing, and sometimes I just give myself a stiff uppercut, pick up my bottom lip and go and do what I have to anyway!! But what goal is worth achieving if it doesn't take some blood, sweat & tears?

To hide away and fail to get out of the starters blocks because of ice cream or roast lamb is really pretty lame. To make one thousand excuses about time, energy and kids is also another way around facing it (sorry to offend - but it's true! There are so many ways to work around kids and time management, and the energy will come from the exertion so that's taken care of).

Another thing. If you are heading towards a goal, for goodness sake stop looking left and right!! There will be people on both sides trying to push you off your track. They'll say and do all sorts of things to undermine what you're doing because it makes them feel so uncomfortable to see you out of your usual box. But eventually they'll accept that you're staying strong and they'll either join you or leave you alone. Remember, I was chunky smoker who got around with a lot of other chunky smokers and we did a lot of smoking and eating back in the day. None of my 'friends' were very impressed when I launched into my first ever exercise campaign. Sadly, none joined me either and I was very much alone for a while there but I wouldn't change a thing. And I imagine a lot of them are still rather chunky, still chugging on the fags, and still think I'm crazy!! They can have their life as long as I get to keep mine!

In saying all of this, I actually do understand the reluctance to commit to something new and hard. This year there have been a few 'firsts' for me; first ever 10km fun run, first ever team challenge when our Just Doin It team completed the Katherine Ultra Challenge yesterday, first foray into group training with my little Bootcamp (now exactly one year old!)...and of course, first time entry into the world of competitive bodybuilding. The fear levels have been huge on some of these things, and I've dared to put myself out there for criticism and comment. But the positivity, friendship, team work and all of the other great things have far far far far far outweighed any of the perceived negatives. I say perceived because generally negative work goes on in the background and you don't really hear about it. You know it's there but if you don't focus on it, it doesn't get under your skin.

The reason I've ranted this week is because I'm heading into an extreme phase of my own training. There is exactly 7 weeks and 5 days until comp day and it's time to do some serious cutting. I can hear you already saying I'm looking lean enough as it is, and in normal circumstances I would agree. But this 'sport' isn't really normal and it's now getting to the extreme end of things. I need this cutting phase in order to let the muscles 'pop' out.

To achieve the leanness required, I now complete two hours of cardio each day. So I start the morning with one hour, then head to the gym for weights, then end the evening with another hour of cardio. I'm on day 2 of this regime with only another 12 to go. Is it hard? Oh crap yes!! It's really hard. My mind is where the battle for the day is won so I'm finding that less thought, more action, is the way to go. If I think too much about it, it dawns on me that my day revolves around training and it's too much to cope with. Along with that, it's mighty hard on the body. For this reason I've said goodbye to my last few treats. No more shop coffees, no more weekly glasses of wine. I'm fully focused on the path ahead and it's full steam until we get there.

Unfortunately Rob is heading off to a three week course this week and it probably couldn't come at a worse time as far as training goes. To combat this we are spending the afternoon pre-cutting and cooking a multitude of meals for both me and the kids so I will spend less time preparing and more time getting this training in. Pre-cut veges last extremely well in containers by the way, as does weighed and sliced meat. So I have three children (one is a pre-schooler) a shift working husband, two bootcamps, a job at the gym, and my own PT business to run, on top of a current 3hr/day training routine. If you want to talk about time management and fitting things in, come and see me!

One of my side-goals has always been to try and inspire people to get up and do it - right now! Don't wait until you're forced to for health or confidence reasons. Strike while the iron's hot and make it happen. Not too many people spend their life regretting getting fit. In fact, I haven't heard of one yet. Many make pompous statements about being "happy and fat" or "funny and round". All power to them if that's really and truly how they feel. But I suspect, deep, deep down, most of us want to be fit, healthy and able to take what life throws at us.

Is all of the hard work worth it in the end? I don't think 'the end' is the only focus. It's very insightful and exciting to see what I can do if I put my mind to it, and it's also amazing to watch the body as it changes. Besides, if I wasn't doing this what would I be doing? Watching tv? Eating ice cream? Carrying on as normal? Nothing wrong with any of that but surely a passage of life deserves some excitement in the form of an extreme goal now and again?

So I dare you to dream a little and then set it in motion. At least just once in your life.

Heels, Hair & Healthy Food....And Weights!!!

I have a friend. She just loves Gorges. I do what a friend does...and go to gorges with her. During the school holidays we have trekked through; El Questro Gorge, Emma Gorge, Cathedral Gorge, Mirella Gorge, Umbrawarra Gorge, and tomorrow we are off to run the steep hill at the Katherine Gorge. Some of them entailed quite a big walk over rocks, through waterways and around/through mud with two husbands and five kids in tow. All were picturesque but my favourite would have to be the Emma Gorge in WA. If you ever make it out that way, this is a 'must see' place. As we arrived a tourist made the comment, "No human could have made this place - it's just way too special", and he was right.

So we're back home from our fabulous WA camping holiday and I can admit that camping while 'in training' is bloody hard work! For a start, the mornings out west were like I imagine the Antarctic to be! Bitingly cold and wind that cuts you in half. I managed a couple of morning walks and runs on the old empty tummy, but the further south we got, the less I managed. Rob threw in a few weights and I got a fairly decent chest, back and biceps workout through the week, but I should and could have done more. While guilt is a waste of an emotion, it made it's way into my camper-trailer sleeps.

So we're home and we're into the single figures now - 9.5 weeks to be exact. To say "I'm scared" would be the understatement of the century. The more I think about this, the more momentous it becomes. So I'm not thinking about it too much.

I'm a liar. I think about this whole competition in one way or another for most of the day. It's all consuming. Why? Here's a selection of why;

1. My high-heels have arrived. They are 5.5 inches high with a nice thin heel. They hurt to put on, they hurt to walk in, and they don't seem to get much easier as I go along. I've taken to wearing them at night before bed. I do the dishes in them, clean the house, and all other night duties. I clack around like a little girl who's stolen them from her mum's wardrobe! This could be my undoing!!

2. Hair. Or lack of it.. I'm not even going to go there. Please take this in the light-hearted way it's supposed to be taken.....but this experience was every bit the traumatic occurrence I dreamt it would be....and some!!!!!! I cannot say anymore as the emotional wounds are still raw.

3. Healthy Food. My diet is changing constantly now and I can hardly keep up. Which is the whole point of the changes - to shock my body into a reaction. I'm well and truly into the 'cutting' phase and you may be able to gauge my hunger by just how much gum I'm chewing!! Two pieces and fast chewing means I'm flippin starving. One piece and a lazy chew means there's moderate hunger pains looming. I definitely eat enough to keep my energy levels going, but there's not a whole lot of substance and nothing you will ever find on a restaurant menu.

4. Cardio. I cockily made many comments about how sad I am about being told to back off the cardio, and how much I missed it. Looking back, the lack of food is obviously causing me to tell lies. I didn't miss it at all. Now I'm back on it and it's truly hard to get going. I'm still easing into this very gently as we don't want all of our cards on the table at once. We also don't want too intense cardio as my precious muscles would become the fuel and I would lose muscle size. I've worked far too hard to give it away over a quick run. For now I'm relegated to the morning walking brigade (there are a few of us at 6am) and I love that it is still dark. This morning over breakfast my son said, "Mum...no offence but those socks don't look good with those pants". "Why darling - are you referring to the stripey soccer socks, pulled up high, and my three quarter daggy track pants? I'm surprised you didn't notice the grotty old sweatshirt, the completely uncombed hair and the sports socks I wear on my hands to keep them warm?"

5. Weights. Same same. They are hard, heavy, frequent and annoyingly hard! They never get easier and chin ups still suck the big kahuna! I have no idea what a day without muscle pain is, but I still relish every ache and pain because it means I'm in the right zone. I've started a weekly massage to correct some of the muscular problems I've developed - that are normal for anyone lifting regular weights. Sadly the massage isn't one of those found on a beach in Bali. More the sort where you leave feeling (and looking) like you've been run over by a bus. Why o why must my head lie declined into that pillow!! It always makes my nose run.

And I laugh at all of this because I'm in the thick of organising the 'glamour' side of this comp. Nails, make-up, hair, bling, shoes, tan. Yet nothing I've written about today has any part in the word GLAMOUR!!!

Is it all worth it? Bloody oath it is!! Loving every minute of it.

Damn. Think I just told another lie. Need food.

Here's probably my biggest change in the last 6 months. Those blasted legs have started toning and I'm on my way to liking them even though the change is somewhat subtle. Boy oh boy they've been a lot of work, I cannot lie about that!!

Now                                                                               February 12

A Day In The Life

Every wondered what it's like to live a day in the life of someone else? I have. Normally I dream about being rich, a little famous (not too much because I'm crap at doing makeup/hair before I step out the door), and having my own private chef, gardener and assistant. So I don't imagine that there is anyone in the world who would actually dream what it's like to be in my humble shoes...however I'm going to give you a day's worth anyway. Cos I can. Cos it's my blog.

Here is a typical day in my little life. Weird as it is at the moment.

0130 Wake just a little to remind myself that the alam will be going off at 0545.

0145 Another little nudge to self that alarm is going off earlier than usual today.

0230 Quick peek at the clock to see if it's any closer to 0545.

0300 Damn - 0545 is rolling in fast!

0345 Blimin tired now.

0430 Shit and blast. Only 1.25 hours of sleep left!

0545 While finally in a deep, deep sleep, alarm goes off. So not fair!

0545.01 Leap out of bed in my one moment of strength. Straight into clothes that are laid out next to bed. It's freezing here right now so I have long socks, track pants, thermal t-shirt, sweatshirt and hat. I can't face doing hair so early so I reign it in and literally stuff it under cap.

0547 Very quietely brush my teeth. Can't do anything or go anywhere with morning breath. Always remembering that ensuite pipes back onto small son's room so I have to forgo moisture. It's a dry brush today.

0550 Grab a pair of sports socks and stuff them over hands. I have no mittens and this will have to do. Yesterday I thought my hands would snap off after becoming frozen in snow blizzard (exaggeration).

0552 Out the door. Hard turn right down path to park. 180 degree turn when realising that the park sprinklers were on. They are ruthless and accurate and being sprayed with icy cold water at 0552 is not cool. Head down the road instead.

I'm walking fast. Too fast. I'm not allowed to run and I'm trying to stick to the rules, but find I walk just under a run..which isn't good for the body. My first ever 'walk-not-run' was for one hour and I clocked up close to 6km. Which is quite good considering I had to motivate a 10 and 8 year old to keep up. Then had to carry the 8 year old on my back for 2km because she had a sore stomach due to not being able to find a private spot for a quick toilet break. An extra 23kg (thank god she's a light 10 year old!!) made it a truly gruelling walk and I woke the following day with sore shins, heels and toes. Have since figured that it's ok to walk when I'm walking.

0625 Have made it to the first bridge past 'The Cow' (it's actually a bull but everyone in Katherine calls it 'The Cow'. I know it's a cow because my son jumped up and started to 'milk' it last week, and then I noticed that he didn't actually have hold of it's udders!!!). Keep walking to the next bridge.

I've passed two people walking dogs, and been 'beeped' out of the way by a couple of keen riders. I've blurted "hullo" to them all but only received one "hullo" back. Thought they were being rude but later remembered that most people these days have ipods in their ears and can't hear a thing. They are all forgiven.

0655 Home to warmth!!! Treat myself with a cup of hot coffee, using soy milk only. Woohoo - just remembered it's 'Dairy Free Week'!!! Happy days.

0715 Whizzing up; 2 x scoops of WPC (protein combination), 1tsp vital greens (a concoction of green everything!! Looks like spirulina powder but tastes better...should do at $170 p/kg!!!), and a couple of cubes of ice to keep it interesting. Sit at computer and read paper while sipping brekkie. Yum!!

0719 Brekkie over. Battle with 2 kids to get them ready for school. Arguments galore over uniforms, lunches, dishes, breakfast, shoes, socks, hair, teeth...and anything else we can scream at each about before we walk out the door.

0750 Big kids off to school. Smiles on their dials - no one would ever imagine the chaos, tears and yelling we just completed behind closed doors. Ahhh - thank goodness for doors!

0815 Out the door with child #3. Check for the following: work bag, diary, new clothes for post workout, training belt, gloves, supplements, towel, water, training schedule, phone, glasses, lunchbox, nut paste, child #3 and car keys. Race back inside to down 2 x flaxseed caps, 1 x multivitamin & a chewable vitamin C (Vit C linked to skin elastisity - am eating them like crazy to get bum skin tight!!).

0830 Child in creche. Client #1 arrives. Have a brilliant workout.

0930 Client #2. Another fab 60mins.

1030 Scheduled Break. Race to work kitchen & grab 100g of cooked, diced chicken from fridge. Nuke for 20seconds to take cold edge off. Mix with tsp of nut paste (OMG it's soooooo goood!!!!) and scoff the whole lot in about 8 seconds.

1045 Next client please!! Thank god for my clients - they keep me sane.

1145 Time for me. Organise my water, down my creatine, start loading up with BCAA's (amino acid recovery drink) and choose workout. Crap. It's chinups and chest today. You already know the chinup story and it's pretty much the same drama each and every session. But I labour through and feel great and it's done. The rest is systematic; Incline press, pressups, flies, bench press. 5 sets. 15 reps per set. I try to fit in another 20min walk on the treadmill but am fighting my mind. Want to go home!!! Need to get the 'cardio' in. Won't tell you which of them won the battle!

1330 Done. Absolutely and utterly done. Nothing left. Hungry, tired, sore & ready for home. Down another shaker full of protein and glutamine for recovery.

1345 Home now. Throw 75grms silken tofu under the grill. Feeling cheeky so splash a little soya sauce on top. Bad move. Sauce burns and it all looks like a charred mess in no time. Too bad. No time to recook. Mix it with steamed green veges and 25g (do you know how ridiculously small 25grms of anything is??????????????) pink salmon (from a can - you know the sort - complete with little vetebraes!!!) and down it in 10 secs flat.

1410 Cup of coffe. Soy milk only but who cares. It's coffee. Truth is, it's not 'on the list' but I'm a rebel. I drink it anyway. Quick read of the online paper, facebook and emails while sipping my soy gold! Swallow 3 fish oil tabs.

Time to catch up on some washing and tidying up.

1430 Big kids home. Homework is out and on the table. Fighting begins. #3 always picks this time to be extra naughty. Ditch homework and give them iceblocks instead. I didn't every propose to be mother-of-the-year did I!! Clean up the instantaneous mess these 3 create after 5 mins home. Pick up discarded and filthy socks, pick up a trail of schoolbooks and arty pictures, undo lunchboxes containing a veritable explosion of yoghurt!!

1500 Crap. Forgot to get dinner done. Start peeling veges. Anything for the kids. For me; savoy cabbage, zucchini, green capsicum, brussel sprouts & broccoli - there's a pattern here. It's green, green, green!! Feeling ruddy hungry while preparing so help myself to some nice, long, crunchy stems of celergy. Wacky doo!!

1530 Round up kids and their karate outfits. Make extra sandwiches as snacks for kids at Bootcamp. Finish dinner prep and get rooms ready for bed.

1615 Kids out the door and down to the Bootcamp oval. Love Bootcamp and the kids love it to. Tried to leave #3 at home one evening and he sobbed the whole hour so it's become a punishment to stay at home. Love the fact that our children are immersed in healthy activities all the time.

1616 Race back inside and grab 10 (that's Ten, not eleven!!) almonds. Naughty as I am, I grab about 10 sultanas too - they are a no-no but again, I'm a rebel. Slowly munch on these 20 little morsels and make them last as long as I can.

1800 After setting up, my team arrives. I'm hungry and a bit wound up. No worries at all - just start motivating others and I find all of my energy back again. Have NEVER finished a bootcamp feeling like crap. Always revitalised and grateful for the hour.

1830 Walk in the house after Bootcamp. Can smell the cooking dinner and start salivating. It's not my dinner by the way - it's next door. Kids straight into shower. Unpack car. Cook dinner and feed kids. Clean up yet again. Kids to bed by 1900-1930 so it's story time and listening to anything new that must be explained to me...right on bed time. Listen to complaints of headaches and sore tummies...that did not appear at any other time than the aforementioned bed time. Deal with ailments and moans and finally crack it and yell at them all to shuddupandgotasleep!!!

1930 Make lunches and prepare dinner. 150g for me, 200g for Rob (sorry honey - you're in there with me on this one!!) of chicken. Stirfry in a dry pan. Add pre-cut veges and stir-fry the living hell out of them all. A bit of rice or bread for Rob but none for me. Try to fit in tomorrow's school lunches at this time too. Never can find time in the morning and the bad sammies reflect the rush which makes me feel guilty. Better to do it the night before. Or teach kids how to do it themselves!!

2000 Dinner. It takes a surprisingly short time to eat 150g of protein with some veges. How sad. Finish and complete programs and preparations for the next day. Answer emails and have another look at the posing bikinis and the colours available - will the decision ever be made? I'm not sure!

2042 Pill time. 3 x fish oil, 2 x glucosamine with chrondroitin (impressed???), 1 x cholorophyll, 1 x multivitamin. Magnesium in water should follow....but often doesn't. All powdered and pill'ed out.

2045ish Dessert. Oolala!!! 350ml soya milk, 1 scoop soy protein powder, 1tsp vital greens, 2 cubes of ice and a good whizzer!! This is the highlight of my evening and I enjoy every last slurp!!!

2100 Cup of tea. Soy milk.

2130 BED!!!! This is actually an early night. Lately it's been about 2230 but we're bringing it back in due to excessive yawning noticed in the afternoons.

2132 Have a quick moan about the things I didn't get done today. On the top of the list is posing practice and organsing a massage for these very tight shoulders. Hector the posing-trainer says I look like one of those robot dancers from the 80's - all stiff and tight. Thanks Hector.

Mental note to deal with these issues in the morning. Quick chuckle to self at the fact that I will probably not remember at all and will spend tomorrow night thinking exactly the same thoughts!! Why? Because I've been meaning to do both things for the past five days to no avail.

2140 Have a read of the latest Mens Fitness magazine. Let mind wander to how I could integrate some of those ideas into client workouts. "Would it be too mean to make him do 20 Turkish Getups on each arm using kettlebells? Hell no. He'll love it! Done!" And he did do it - and I'm sure he loved it!!

2200ish Sleep arrives.

2345 Just checking the time. Gotta wake up a little early tomorrow for the morning walk......