This Has To Be The Hardest 2 Weeks Of All!

Numbers to start with;

41 - days until the competition.

105 - approximate kilometres I have run/walked/dragged my sorry butt in the past 7 days.

9 - average kilometres I jog in each 1 hour session.

7 - average kilometres walked in my empty-tummy-morning hill walk.

13 - number of stiff-uppercuts I've had to give myself in order to get the cardio sessions completed.

42 - number of meals I've eaten in 7 days. It's all veges and fish but at least it's frequent!

120-150 - grams of the above-mentioned fish at each serving. Not nearly enough!!

42 - litres of water consumed. That's 6 litres per day. I've decided that I detest cold water and prefer tap temperature. It's funny how strong your opinions become when you are subjected to it too often.

3 - feet is the furtherest I can be away from the little ladies room due to the 6 litres of water!

As usual, you'll get honesty from me. This last two weeks has made every week before it pale into insignificance in the "hard" scale. It's been absolutely and utterly gruelling. Life has been one big bubble of eating, running, eating, walking, training, eating, sleeping and working. The intensity has been overwhelming at times. It has tested my ability to run work, family and training life and, at times, I have failed to make it all work.

I find that, as it becomes more intense, I become more controlled in my approach. I seem to lose all of the 'grey' and get a little black and white about things. Example: If my trainer says, "heavy weights with 12-15 reps, 4-5 sets", I will always choose 15 reps and 5 sets. I can't seem to let myself relax into anything. Just yesterday I completed a fairly (very!!) heavy hamstring workout as follows;

- stiff leg deadlifts - 75kg

- bulgarian split squats - 2 x 15kg d/b's

- hamstring curls - 25kg

all 12-15 reps, 5 x sets

Then I had a thought - why don't I finish off with 100 swissball roll-ins? Yeah! So I got my big red ball and started with great guns. At 25 reps I wished I could stop and my hamstrings were screaming in agony. Did I stop? Not a chance!! I popped out reps until the magic 100 was done. It was quite possibly a silly thing to do as I can hardly feel the backs of my legs today. But I had made the silly call and couldn't back down.

So while I'm a big advocate for reaching goals, there definitely has to be a time where common sense prevails and you give yourself a break. I just have to learn myself where that threshold lies. Or risk being put in my place by a smart trainer.

On that, the lovely Sammy called me this morning to see how I was going. As far as I was concerned, I had ticked all of the boxes. 2hrs of cardio per day - tick. 1hr of heavy weights per day - tick. 6L of water - tick. Posing practise - half a tick. Food on track - 3/4 of a tick - just a little bit of a fruit bust here and there. So I thought it was all good. I didn't mention to her that my temper fuse is shorter than it's been in years...and that I dreaded the thought of fish at just about every meal..and that I was feeling increasingly sorry for myself with regard to a lack of anything yummy or alcoholic...because I didn't count that as important. It was only important that I had completed my tasks.

At the end of the conversation Sammy said, "tonight I want you to eat carbs. Yep. Eat carbs. I can clearly hear it in your voice. You sound like a weary bear..all dopey". And as she said it, I could feel that I was bumbling in my thoughts and really struggling to have any zappiness - you know what I mean? Very heavy like I couldn't get a clear thought pattern going and I was choosing the long way around most things without realising it. I got off the phone really quick because I could feel some little tears stinging the corners of my eyes..and, of course, bodybuilders can't cry!! hehe. I processed that information and realised she was exactly right, as per usual, and decided I would follow her advice.

The only thing I modified was that she told me to have a carb dinner. I decided a lunch would be a better meal to eat on as it would give me the afternoon to 'recover' and I wouldn't go to bed on a full tummy and then think about it all night. So I had a royal feast for lunch!! I won't go into too much detail but I'll tell you it involved cheese (ohmygoditwasgood!!!), peanut butter, and chocolate. Not too much, but more than enough to make me feel full, spoiled and very happy!

Following my feast I jumped on that dreaded treadmill and completed 9kms followed by a heavy chest workout and, of course, my early morning walk already under my belt. I'm back on track now. The muscles have been fed a treat today and it's back into the regime as of now. I have another week on this dreaded deplete plan and then it's a see-saw game up until comp date. Now is when we start tricking things up with salt and water and it's very interesting to see how the body reacts to different manipulations.

So that's me for the week. I completely understand it now when told how hard it is to train for these competitions and I can't wait to be able to say I got through it all and came out the other side. The drive to succeed by achieving my goal is worth the pain..and my goal is just to participate. At this stage, I really have no more desire than that. But I want to do it with some style and that's why I'm giving it all I have.

Weigh Day is Wednesday

Never did I think I'd be back to fretting about the damn scales! And here I am, a bundle of jangling nerve wires, wondering, hoping, praying even, that those bloody scales will go down....and more than just a bit!!!

Explanation. This week I've gone full force into a cutting cycle. That is, high cardio, low food and medium weights in order to gently extract the rather small layer of fat covering the muscles. The trainer I saw last week estimated my body fat to be around 3% at the moment so it's a bit of a science to get it moving while trying to leave all muscle intact. Sounds pretty low but I can tell you it has decided to have a party and meet up at my legs...how predictable.

So here's what happened. I dutifully started the two one-hour cardio sessions per day last Sunday but hadn't collected my two week menu plan. For three days I continued on my merry little way scoffing lentils, chicken, rice and veges to my hearts content! Even slipping in a few more spoonfuls because I cockily thought I deserved them due to the gruelling cardio regime. I heard my darling husband say something like, "Are you sure you should be 'upping' the carbs? I thought the cardio was to lower your weight". I recall replying something like, "Don't be ridiculous!! You can't do 2hrs of cardio a day on an empty stomach!! Of course I need more carbs".

WRONG!! Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!!! So I found out!!

Happily I trotted on in my own little world...until Wednesday morning, when I received my two-week food instruction manual. And discovered, to my detriment, that I was supposed to have lowered my carbs...not bloody increased them!!!! Are you serious?????? "Oh well", I stupidly thought yet again, "It can't have hurt much! I'm running two hundred miles a day". WRONG AGAIN!!!! Come Friday-weigh-day, I had dropped a measly 100grams!! ONE HUNDRED BLOODY GRAMS!!!!!! 

I honestly can't repeat my thought pattern as I stood on those @@###$ scales!!! I had prepared for that moment with the full and eager anticipation of a great result reflecting the 75km worth of running and walking I'd already achieved, along with a decently clean diet. I was suitably un-attired (TMI I know, but these things are important on weigh day!!), had finished early morning ablutions in order to decrease fluid weight, and I was initially smiling! Oh how my world changed in those few seconds!! You wanna talk food moods???? Oh crickey dicks!!! I was as sour as a mouldy old lemon with a face like a puckered cat's bum!! Pissed off can't even come close to how I felt at that precise moment and the grey cloud seemed to descend on my head and hover there for the rest of the day. Hopefully no one noticed but I'm not too sure!

On reflection, I can see my error very clearly and it was all about the food - as it seems to be when it comes to weight loss. This bodybuilding thing can sometimes defy common sense and I should have realised the curve ball would be coming sooner or later. It's here in the form of a diet completely devoid of any complex carbs, with 2hrs of cardio and 1hr of weights almost every day of the week for 2 weeks. I have now moved the official weigh-day to Wednesday and I'm completely shitting myself to be honest. I don't know how this carb-starved brain will cope with another bad result yet I can't feel the weight dropping off like I thought I would.

I'll give you a new daily scenario including the food simply because many people have been asking about it;

* 6am-7am - moderate incline walk on completely empty tummy - light sweat only

* breakfast shake

* midmorning tuna & salad

* weights session - moderate weight as no energy for much more

* lunch chicken & veg

* midafternoon raw veg & water protein shake

* early evening - 1hr jog with inclines thrown in as needed

* dinner fish & veg

* supper shake & peanut paste

It's very do-able but takes a little grit to get through the last hour of cardio. Thanks to a fabulous friend, I have a beautiful treadmill plonked in front of the tv so I can get these sessions out of the way while watching the stupid-box. The Olympics have been an added bonus!

Other than this, I've been struggling to fit in any posing or stretching and know I'll have to get them under control when I can. I had another posing session with Hector and we covered all of the poses in more detail. I'm happy with where I am for now but know I have a whole lot of improvements up my sleeve.

Bikini update. It's being made and I hope it'll be as lovely as I imagine. I won't spoil the surprise with colour or style just yet.

Another blurb about the scales. In my late teens and early twenties, I have to confess that I was completely and utterly screwed up when it came to body image. I fluctuated horribly with my weight and would grasp hold of anything with the words "diet" or "weight" attached to them. Every Monday felt like the start of a new week where I would try something zany and crazy in order to lose that weight. I did the whole grapefruit diet, the cabbage diet, the carrot diet - and more scary than all - I decided to do the whole "won't eat a thing" diet, which almost did my head in completely. I was down in the mid 40kg weight range at one stage and managed to balloon to the 90's. It was a horrible, terrible phase of my life and, if you are on the diet yo-yo, please get some help to get off it! It's not the weight that kills your life, it's the emotions that go with it - the shame, the guilt and the feeling of being so low all of the time. No one deserves to feel like that day in and out.

So I have to say that it took me 15 years of having a stable weight and attitude to food and diet before I attempted to do anything that would make me stray from my good patterns in the way that this bodybuilding has. I would never have attempted this sort of thing any earlier as I'm sure I would have become mentally caught up in the whole self-image, weight gaining/loss games that I happily left behind all of those years ago.

Rightio. Enough blabbing by me. Oh yes, because I'm really honest.....I have to say that the omission of lentils in my diet has done wonders for.....can't say it! Use your imagination.

Time For A Little Motivational Speech...Ahem

Have you ever tried anything Extreme? Let me clarify Extreme. I mean anything that has pushed you into what you would call extreme circumstances in order to achieve whatever it is? Something that has demanded a sacrifice in order to complete?

I think many would say they haven't. Why? What's holding you back? Fear? Lethargy? Lack of drive? Lack of confidence in yourself to achieve? A fear of coming 2nd...or maybe not even finishing at all? Well you're certainly not alone.

You see, if I had one dollar for every time, over the past 8 months, someone has said to me, "ooo - I could never do what you're doing..", I would visit Lorna Jane a whole lot more. I believe the more accurate response should be, "ooo - I choose not to do what you're doing" because it is..a choice. My body is just the same as most of yours. I have two arms, two legs etc etc, and they may have been tuned a little differently but they pretty much work in the same manner.

But here's where we may differ a little. You might say, "I can't!!" Where I will say, "I can!! And I will! And if I don't get it the first time, I'll try again a second and a third until I nail it! And, if I have to, I'll get help from wherever I can - google, youtube, friends, magazines - wherever - but I will do it!!" So maybe our headspace differs, but our body is essentially the same. It'll do as it's told.

Another thing I find strange is the attitude of feeling hard done by when missing out on something. Especially when it comes to food. I have had many responses to my nutrition with comments such as, "I just couldn't do without my ice cream after dinner", or, "I don't believe in missing out. I couldn't cope without my Sunday roast". You know I'm pretty honest so here's my response; I understand that ice-cream is good. Very good. But it was around when I was born, and it'll be around when I'm done, and it'll taste the same for the entire time and I won't miss out on a thing in the long term. I can't comprehend the taste of fat and sugar being something that holds me back from a goal. Same thing for the Sunday roast - it'll be there forever and it'll always taste sort of similar to what it did the first time around. It isn't worth fighting for.

Because in my honest opinion, people work better, play better and live better, when they have a goal. And a physical goal is a great way to get on top of your health & fitness. I mean a goal that will take some working towards like maybe a 5km fun run, or being able to jog the loop non-stop, or maybe even entering your first bodybuilding competition!!

But to achieve a goal, there must be sacrifice. No two ways about it. It'll take up time, it might cost a little money for some kit, it may mean saving money on shit food and re-spending it on fresh stuff, and it may mean facing something you don't particularly like sometimes - like some speed work on the oval, or hitting the gym for the 5th time in a week to conquer those triceps. Whatever it is, it'll hurt some days and feel great others. Some days you'll want to pack it all in and you'll wake up with the excuses rolling off your tongue non-stop - that's normal. What makes it a sacrifice is whether you give in to the very-believable excuses, or turn them off, fill your head with the positive stuff and get out and do it. Sometimes I need some of those corny gym motivation slogans to keep me going, or maybe I work better on those days that I think about compeititors and what they are doing, and sometimes I just give myself a stiff uppercut, pick up my bottom lip and go and do what I have to anyway!! But what goal is worth achieving if it doesn't take some blood, sweat & tears?

To hide away and fail to get out of the starters blocks because of ice cream or roast lamb is really pretty lame. To make one thousand excuses about time, energy and kids is also another way around facing it (sorry to offend - but it's true! There are so many ways to work around kids and time management, and the energy will come from the exertion so that's taken care of).

Another thing. If you are heading towards a goal, for goodness sake stop looking left and right!! There will be people on both sides trying to push you off your track. They'll say and do all sorts of things to undermine what you're doing because it makes them feel so uncomfortable to see you out of your usual box. But eventually they'll accept that you're staying strong and they'll either join you or leave you alone. Remember, I was chunky smoker who got around with a lot of other chunky smokers and we did a lot of smoking and eating back in the day. None of my 'friends' were very impressed when I launched into my first ever exercise campaign. Sadly, none joined me either and I was very much alone for a while there but I wouldn't change a thing. And I imagine a lot of them are still rather chunky, still chugging on the fags, and still think I'm crazy!! They can have their life as long as I get to keep mine!

In saying all of this, I actually do understand the reluctance to commit to something new and hard. This year there have been a few 'firsts' for me; first ever 10km fun run, first ever team challenge when our Just Doin It team completed the Katherine Ultra Challenge yesterday, first foray into group training with my little Bootcamp (now exactly one year old!)...and of course, first time entry into the world of competitive bodybuilding. The fear levels have been huge on some of these things, and I've dared to put myself out there for criticism and comment. But the positivity, friendship, team work and all of the other great things have far far far far far outweighed any of the perceived negatives. I say perceived because generally negative work goes on in the background and you don't really hear about it. You know it's there but if you don't focus on it, it doesn't get under your skin.

The reason I've ranted this week is because I'm heading into an extreme phase of my own training. There is exactly 7 weeks and 5 days until comp day and it's time to do some serious cutting. I can hear you already saying I'm looking lean enough as it is, and in normal circumstances I would agree. But this 'sport' isn't really normal and it's now getting to the extreme end of things. I need this cutting phase in order to let the muscles 'pop' out.

To achieve the leanness required, I now complete two hours of cardio each day. So I start the morning with one hour, then head to the gym for weights, then end the evening with another hour of cardio. I'm on day 2 of this regime with only another 12 to go. Is it hard? Oh crap yes!! It's really hard. My mind is where the battle for the day is won so I'm finding that less thought, more action, is the way to go. If I think too much about it, it dawns on me that my day revolves around training and it's too much to cope with. Along with that, it's mighty hard on the body. For this reason I've said goodbye to my last few treats. No more shop coffees, no more weekly glasses of wine. I'm fully focused on the path ahead and it's full steam until we get there.

Unfortunately Rob is heading off to a three week course this week and it probably couldn't come at a worse time as far as training goes. To combat this we are spending the afternoon pre-cutting and cooking a multitude of meals for both me and the kids so I will spend less time preparing and more time getting this training in. Pre-cut veges last extremely well in containers by the way, as does weighed and sliced meat. So I have three children (one is a pre-schooler) a shift working husband, two bootcamps, a job at the gym, and my own PT business to run, on top of a current 3hr/day training routine. If you want to talk about time management and fitting things in, come and see me!

One of my side-goals has always been to try and inspire people to get up and do it - right now! Don't wait until you're forced to for health or confidence reasons. Strike while the iron's hot and make it happen. Not too many people spend their life regretting getting fit. In fact, I haven't heard of one yet. Many make pompous statements about being "happy and fat" or "funny and round". All power to them if that's really and truly how they feel. But I suspect, deep, deep down, most of us want to be fit, healthy and able to take what life throws at us.

Is all of the hard work worth it in the end? I don't think 'the end' is the only focus. It's very insightful and exciting to see what I can do if I put my mind to it, and it's also amazing to watch the body as it changes. Besides, if I wasn't doing this what would I be doing? Watching tv? Eating ice cream? Carrying on as normal? Nothing wrong with any of that but surely a passage of life deserves some excitement in the form of an extreme goal now and again?

So I dare you to dream a little and then set it in motion. At least just once in your life.