Here's how it goes for me and my Chin-Ups.
I go to that area of the gym and politely ask if anyone in the vicinity would like to use The Bar. I hope like crazy that someone takes me up on that offer but, more often than not, it's a quiet little area with not a lot going on. So I resign myself to the fact that it's time.
Action stations. I lay my little towel down near The Bar, and place my exercise book on a nearby bench. I then rearrange my gloves so that they are fitting just right. They can't be bunched at the base of my fingers because that just doesn't feel right and may seriously impede my ability to peform. I have a little sniff and then realise that it's a while between washes and they aren't smelling very beautiful.
I then put in my earphones and take some time to thread my ipod wire down through my shirt so as I don't keep catching it when I'm exercising. It takes a while to get the earphones just right so I take that time because I know that this music is crucial for good performance.
I then stand back and face-off with The Bar. It's big and cold and ugly. I notice that the paint has been flaking off and the grips aren't terribly clean. I process in my mind the fact that I might catch 'something' with a dirty bar....and then dismiss the thought as a stalling tactic. Mental note - I must organise to replace the dirty grips.
I then step up to The Bar and organise myself in the right forward position. I start thinking about the upcoming pain and quickly focus on the music instead. "I know I won't die from this". It's my Chin-Up mantra.
I then step up to The Bar once again and climb up on the side bars so as to start my first rep with a bit of gentle help in the 'up' position. Ever so carefully I place my hands on that Bar. Palms facing me, thumbs neatly wrapped around. I consider going to the toilet before I start but decide against it. It just could be another stalling thingimebob.
I then decide that a quick warm-up is necessary so I gently drop both feet into a hanging position and start to focus on my lat muscles. I twitch each side a couple of times to remind me exactly what it is I'm using for the upward momentum. After a good 3-4 seconds in that position, I replace my feet on the side bars and realise that the time is here.
I flick through my ipod to find a good grunty song that will help propel me into the world of Chin-Ups. Today it was "Welcome to the Jungle" by the Gunners.
Time for one or two quick mantras .... "I won't die. I won't die. This won't kill me".
I then let my feet hang. Actually, I neatly cross over my ankles. I squeeze my glutes (butt) together with everything I've got.....engage the lats. And give an almighty breath out while I lift myself up just so my chin pops over top of that big, ugly old Bar!!!!
ONE.......TWO......THREE................FOUR..........FIIIIIIVVVVVEEEE............SSIIIIIIII..........X.....and I'm done!
That's it. It's all over. I can't squeeze another one out. No way. No how. I have no strength at all to complete another rep and it's been all of about 8 seconds. I'm lucky if I have the strength to continue breathing actually. It's taken my all.
10 second recovery and I run down to the other end of the gym and complete my sets on the assisted pullup machine. I'm feeling strong and I'm feeling proud. I'm actually feeling like the strongest person in the whole gym.....world...universe!! I'm rocking it baby and Guns & Roses are my backdrop - woot woot!!!
I then cockily saunter back to The Bar for set number 2 of 6. While I'm there, rearranging ipod wires, psyching up my head with my little mantra, fixing up gloves, and picking songs, a young dude approaches me. "Would you mind if I jumped on there quickly between your sets". "Go right ahead" I say....foolishly. So this young fella walks straight on up, grabs The Bar, and pumps out about 20 chinups in 10 seconds flat. He then falls to his feet and says, "Cheers" before wandering off to his next challenge.
I felt like punching his face in.
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