What a flap last week was! So many things to do and, finally, my weekend in Darwin arrived. As previously explained, it's a big deal to get out of my house alive let alone ....alone!! So I worked my butt off to get everything done that needed to be done before the Friday morning ETD. But first things first.....The Tan!!
On Thursday night, after Bootcamp, I scheduled in my first ever spray tan!!! Excited much!!! Little nervous too!! Lovely Kristy from Katherine Spray Tans looked after me and, as per the pre-tan reading, I left Bootcamp and went home and had a shower to get rid of any deodorants, creams, sweat etc etc. I then had to decide on what to wear.....while suspecting that anything I did wear would need to be...er..removed! Nerves a little jangly at that thought! So at about 8pm I arrived at her house and she was just lovely, which put me at ease a little bit. I was then taken to a little 'tent' and gently told to remove clothing and call out when ready. While I had mentally prepared for this, I really was a little giggly and silly about it all I must admit. So she left me outside to organise myself. I took a deep breath and gingerly removed my dress, deciding on the spot that the full monty was out of the question on a first date, so one article remained in place. I then strategically placed limbs over all delicate areas and felt a little like those centrefolds contortionists who do a great job of hiding all bits.
I called out "I'm ready" but I don't actually think any sound came out because I was standing for a while in this funny position. I called out again, for real this time, and took a breath as she came in to start up the spray gun. Looking back I probably rambled incessantly, as I do when nervous, but she graciously started with my legs so I was able to stay modest for a while longer (god she must have thought I was an idiot!!). Then Kristy carefully and gently stated that it was time to do my arms. I'm no fool. I realised that this meant my arms had to leave my 'bits' and be placed out wide. Oh crap. Here goes. Feeling soooooo wrong but gonna do it anyway! So I shut my eyes, arms out wide and thought of Africa!!! And it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Very much felt like I was being spray painted....hello...that's exactly what it was!! Body, face, bum - it was all done! It took about 15 mins and finished off with a quick dry down before some time in front of the aircon to dry off some more.
Kristy warned me that it would like very golden at first but after 8 hours I could have a shower and the colour would calm down a bit. So I left her house feeling very much like Malibu Barbie, without the blond hair. It's amazing how being brown can make you feel so healthy. I arrived home and sauntered into the house like a swimsuit model.....and Rob burst out laughing and didn't really stop. In fact he laughed every time he looked at me for the whole night!! To add insult to injury my beautiful 8 year old son (who always tells me how beautiful he thinks I am!!) said, "Mummy, when is your tan going to go away?" Me - "In a few days. Why?" Him - "Because I love you more when you don't have that tan." ????!!! Need to show the boy some American swimsuit magazines!!
After the following mornings' shower I looked a little less Malibu and a little more Cairns, but it still felt pretty good to me! No strap marks on my back. No sock lines on my ankles. A brown tummy and wickedly even coloured thighs - woohoo - loved it!! And muscle definition - wowee!! I can see why a tan is essential.
So, in Darwin I got to the bottom of the compeititon tan vs the home tan. Apparently it's absolutely nothing like Kristy's lovely little spray gun. In fact, my trainer Sammy, describes it as "vegemite in a jar". Charming. It appears that I will layer myself in this dark coloured mud for the week prior to competing, and finish with a thick dark top coat that may be lucky to have a little shimmer going on. It goes on with a sponge, a roller or hands. I'm told that, if on the day I am noticeably 'lighter' than the others backstage, I'm to go and get my jar and apply liberally until I achieve their great darkness. This is going to be hard work to live with!! Now I understand why some of the competitors in the mags I read look like golden statues by competition day - oh joy!
I had a thought about how hard it will be with this tan on, living in a hot climate and trying not to look too ridiculous! I wonder if Woolies do home deliveries?? And we may have a Winter Bootcamp Theme that week and I'll urge everyone to come along dressed in full lengh tights, jumpers and face masks - just so that I don't look out of place!
So that's my first little foray into tans. What a drama. Next I have to give some thought to ....um...er....waxing.....you know where!!!! It's a hideous thought for a waxing virgin. Yep, that's right. The only part of my body ever graced with any wax is my eyebrows. The rest has remained wax-free and I was happy to stay that way. Until now. It has to be done. I'm horrified at what it entails and, worst of all, it'll have to be 'done' by someone local. And I might see them in Woolies one day, or at the golfies for dinner, or at Bootcamp!! Urrrggghhhhh!!! There are so many considerations associated with this 'procedure' and I know that at least one of my brothers reads this blog so I'm not going there for now!! But you can be sure it's playing on my mind and I'm VERY nervous! Give me 75kg on a squat bar and I'll take it on. Give me hot wax and my delicates, and I'm a blithering mess!
But that's going to be a whole new blog entry........
No comments:
Post a Comment